What parent doesn't want good behavior and great grades?
Rewarding children for good choices is an effective way to encourage behaviors that parents value. Unfortunately, adults sometimes reward children with sweets and other food because it tastes good and kids get excited about it. Even though bribing children with candy to clean their rooms and eat their vegetables may lead to a clean room and a clean plate, there can be negative long-term consequences.
When food is given as a reward, children start to connect it with something good or bad, rather than to see food as fuel for their body. In the long run, this could lead to emotional eating as adults and generate an unhealthy relationship with food. Food rewards also teach kids to expect food when they've done something well, which can lead to poor nutrient intakes, eating when not hungry and excess calories. And it teaches them that the food rewarded is more desirable than other foods. Non-food rewards may be a wiser strategy.
Non-Food Rewards Kids Love
Praise is highly effective and costs nothing. Take time to identify additional non-food rewards that motivate your children. If your children are old enough, brainstorm a list of incentives with them. Here are several to consider:
- Play date with friends
- Sleepover with friends
- Special time with parents or grandparents
- Sitting at the head of the table for dinner
- Trip to the park, pool, skating rink, bowling alley or movies
- Time off from chores
- More screen time (computer, tablet, TV, video games)
- Additional minutes on the cell phone
- Additional car privileges
Please keep in mind that some of the listed non-food rewards may need to be modified to follow safe COVID-19 precautions.
Non-Food Rewards at School
You may have a successful non-food reward system at home, but food rewards in school might send mixed messages to your children. Discuss your concerns with your children's teachers. Explain the downsides of rewarding children with candy or celebrating a class victory with an ice cream party. Then, offer other options such as temporary tattoos, student of the week awards, eating lunch in a special place, additional time for recess, class field trips and watching movies.
Instead of using food as rewards, use outdoor activities that encourage physical activity such as going to the park, riding the bike or playing basketball. Show your kid you enjoy these activities and be a good role model for them to follow. By emphasizing non-food rewards, your children will strive for those.